In that 1996 essay, I analogized to the slow end to the state bans on inter-racial marriage: It took courage to embrace this fact the way the Supreme Court did today. No civil institution is related to these deep human experiences more than civil marriage and the exclusion of gay people from this institution was a statement of our core inferiority not just as citizens but as human beings. We are born into family we love we marry we take care of our children we die. We are not disordered or sick or defective or evil – at least no more than our fellow humans in this vale of tears. It erases them not merely as citizens, but as human beings. It cuts gay people off not merely from civic respect, but from the rituals and history of their own families and friends. It is the most profound statement our society can make that homosexual love is simply not as good as heterosexual love that gay lives and commitments and hopes are simply worth less. And what public institution is more central-more definitive-of that connection than marriage? The denial of marriage to gay people is therefore not a minor issue. Homosexuality, at its core, is about the emotional connection between two adult human beings. This core truth is what Justice Kennedy affirmed today, for the majority: that gay people are human. Even political rights, like the right to vote, and nearly all other rights enumerated in the Constitution, are secondary to the inalienable human rights to ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness’ proclaimed in the Declaration of Independence and to this category the right to home and marriage unquestionably belongs.”
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“The right to marry whoever one wishes is an elementary human right compared to which ‘the right to attend an integrated school, the right to sit where one pleases on a bus, the right to go into any hotel or recreation area or place of amusement, regardless of one’s skin or color or race’ are minor indeed. History is a miasma of contingency, and courage, and conviction, and chance.īut some things you know deep in your heart: that all human beings are made in the image of God that their loves and lives are equally precious that the pursuit of happiness promised in the Declaration of Independence has no meaning if it does not include the right to marry the person you love and has no force if it denies that fundamental human freedom to a portion of its citizens. For many years, it felt like one step forward, two steps back. Movements do not move relentlessly forward progress comes and, just as swiftly, goes. I recall all this now simply to rebut the entire line of being “on the right side of history.” History does not have such straight lines. Bush subsequently went even further and embraced the Federal Marriage Amendment to permanently ensure second-class citizenship for gay people in America. The Clintons embraced the Defense of Marriage Act, and their Justice Department declared that DOMA was in no way unconstitutional the morning some of us were testifying against it on Capitol Hill. Much of the gay left was deeply suspicious of this conservative-sounding reform two thirds of the country were opposed the religious right saw in the issue a unique opportunity for political leverage – and over time, they put state constitutional amendments against marriage equality on the ballot in countless states, and won every time. In fact, we lost and lost and lost again. And when we won, and got our first fact on the ground, we indeed faced exactly that backlash and all the major gay rights groups refused to spend a dime on protecting the breakthrough … and we lost. A local straight attorney from the ACLU, Dan Foley, took it up instead, one of many straight men and women who helped make this happen. No gay group had agreed to support the case, which was regarded at best as hopeless and at worst, a recipe for a massive backlash. Then a breakthrough in Hawaii, where the state supreme court ruled for marriage equality on gender equality grounds. A young fellow named Evan Wolfson who had written a dissertation on the subject in 1983 got in touch, and the world immediately felt less lonely. “This is the loopiest idea ever to come down the pike,” he joked.
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It was Crossfire, as I recall, and Gary Bauer’s response to my rather earnest argument after my TNR cover-story on the matter was laughter.
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I remember one of the first TV debates I had on the then-strange question of civil marriage for gay couples.